Major life stressors occur throughout our lifetimes. Unemployment, military deployments, career change, death of a spouse, and relocation are just a few examples of events that cause significant amounts of stress. These events, planned or completely unexpected, will lead to a period of transition as you cope with whatever stressor you’re dealing with.
Major life stressors
- Death of a spouse/partner
- Death of a child
- Death of parent of other family member
- Marriage
- Marital separation
- Divorce
- Pregnancy
- Miscarriage
- Career change
- Foreclosure
- Unemployment
- Military deployment
- Incarceration
- Relocation
- Major illness or injury (you or close family member)
- Change in financial status
- Retirement
- Purchasing a home
My husband and I have lived through many of these major life stressors in our 16 year marriage. We had a span of a few months where we experienced stress from multiple events. During that time we experienced a military move overseas to Japan, a job change for my husband, military deployment, pregnancy, and we grieved the unexpected loss of an uncle.
I’ll talk more about these stressors in a future blog post.
Transitions
A transition is simply the change from one thing to another. For example,
- grieving the loss of your loved one – spouse to widow(er)
- merging two independent lives into one household – single to married
- adding a fussy, crying, needy, beautiful baby to the mix – sleep all morning to “oh, no what have we done to ourselves!”
- learning a new job – feeling comfortable and confident to new guy/gal again
- fitting into your new community – homesick to feeling at home
- changing your lifestyle to adapt to less income – no worries to frugal living
Symptoms of stress
Stress in small amounts can be healthy. Stress can motivate you and help you to be productive. How will you know if your most recent life stressor and transition is causing you to experience unhealthy levels of stress? Symptoms of stress may be exhibited physically, emotionally, and behaviorally.
Physical symptoms of stress:
- Fatigue
- Headaches
- Stomach pain
- Indigestion
- Muscle pain/tension
- Chest pains
- Sweating
- High blood pressure
- Ulcers
Emotional symptoms of stress:
- Sadness
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Irritability
- Anger
- Constant worry
- Nervousness
- Guilt
- Hopelessness
Behavioral symptoms of stress:
- Restlessness
- Increased use of tobacco, caffeine, alcohol or other substances
- Isolating self from friends or loved ones
- Change in appetite
- Disturbed sleep
- Lack of interest in pleasure activities
- Forgetfulness
- Angry outbursts
- Crying spells
- Indecisiveness
“It’s LIFE, I should be able to handle it.”
How many times have you said that phrase to yourself? Yes, it is life and a majority of these life stressors are something we should expect to experience over a lifetime. You should not have the expectation that coping with these stressors should be easy or effortless. Let me repeat that, you should NOT have the expectation that coping with major life stressors should be easy or effortless.
8 Practical Ways You Can Cope With Stress
How you cope with stress and major life stressors will depend on your personality and the levels of stress you are experiencing. Here are some methods you can do right now:
- Professional counseling – short or long term
- Meditation
- Exercise
- Journaling
- Self-help groups
- Planned relaxation time (e.g. a vacation)
- Time management planning
- Deliberate planning for expected upcoming stressors (e.g. a move)
I’ll address these coping strategies in future blog posts.
Here are some questions for you:
What stressors do you deal with the most?
How do you cope with stress?
What coping method works well for you?
What coping method doesn’t work for you?
What coping method do you struggle with and want to improve because you believe it will help you?
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Paula Newsome, MS is a professional counselor at a group private practice in Maryland. She is a 16-year Navy spouse, mom, and loves to help people reach their goals – in mental health, work, and relationships. Paula especially enjoys helping current and former military members and their families.